Saturday, 22 June 2013

15 Second Review: Venom (2005)

Laughably formulaic neo-slasher Venom is riddled with clichés. The characters are entirely uninspired and uninspiring. For example, the final girl’s relationship is on the rocks because she is leaving their small town to go to college. Sound familiar? The plot is forced. The dialogue is similarly atrocious. Lines such as ‘you’re starting to scare me’, ‘god help us, what are we doing?’, and ‘no one is safe’ sound like they have been written for the trailer rather than the feature film. The actors cannot feign crying or fear. Unfortunately, the script requires a great deal of weeping in terror. The killer does a passable impersonation of CJ Graham (Jason in Friday 13th Part VI: Jason Lives). The final seconds of the end credits set up a possible sequel, but one is yet (mercifully) to emerge. Unintentionally funny, frequently boring, and virtually gore free, Venom belongs at the very bottom of the bargain bin. This film represents a criminal waste of money, and is an insult to the intelligence of anyone who sits through it.

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