Saturday, 22 November 2014

AVN Awards 2015: "Clever" Titles

It is that time of year again - the 2015 AVN award nominations have been published. Most categories fail to interest me (and there are so many categories). In fact, I'm only ever really interested in Clever Title of the Year (see my post here). Make no mistake, these are rarely "clever", and are most often patently offensive. For instance, this year 12 Inches a Slave has been nominated, and that is a title that definitely falls into the offensive category (see my previous post here). Other candidates include fellow nominees 1 in the Slit 1 in the Shit and (the rather boring) Pregnant and Pounded. 

There are the usual batch of parody titles, which do verge on being witty:

  • Dawn of the Planet of the Gapes
  • The Little Spermaid
  • Trans Formers

We have also been treated to some titles that don't really work, including Two Chicks at the Same Time, Man!, Romancing Her Rectum and I’m Not 50, I’m 5 Perfect 10’s

Since this is all quite dizzying, let's pause for a reality-check:

Clever (klɛvə), adj.

  1. quick to understand, learn, and devise or apply ideas; intelligent. (antonym: stupid)
  2. skilled at doing or achieving something; talented.
  3. showing skill and originality; ingenious.
  4. (informal) sensible; well advised.

Draw your own conclusions about how these titles measure up.

Over the last few years, my favourites have been those titles that are so long and cumbersome that they don't come close to working. The industry did not let me down this year, offering My Black Stepdaddy Disciplined Me Now My Pussy Is Sore! and She Divorced Me So I Fucked Her Hot Slutty Attorney. Surely the latter already has the "Clever Title" trophy in the bag. 

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